Big Brother Blues

The following transcript is the cross backstage story of Minagi Tsuzuru SSR 【Attack of the Minagis】and Nanao Taichi SSR 【Skater Boi】

Tsuzuru:	Not too many people here tonight, so this should be enough meat...
Tsuzuru:	Actually, is it enough? ...Nah, it's not, is it.
Tsuzuru:	They'll probably eat this much...
Taichi:	Ah, I'm so thirsty!
Tsuzuru:	Oh, welcome home, Taichi.
Taichi:	Sup!
Taichi:	You on cooking duty tonight, Tsuzuru?
Tsuzuru:	Yep. Izumi is helping another troupe and Omi's at a club retreat.
Taichi:	So? Whatcha makin'?
Tsuzuru:	Pork with fried ginger. Extra on the pork.
Taichi:	Whoa, that looks good! Gimme a taste!
Tsuzuru:	Ah, hey, that's--!
Taichi:	...Tastes like meat!
Tsuzuru:	Well, what else would it taste like? I haven't added any seasonings yet.
Taichi:	Omi's cooking is good, but your cooking is like... manly! Just a whole buncha stuff in one place.
Tsuzuru:	When you've got a big family, it's easier to make one-pot meals.
Taichi:	Ah, right. You've got a lot of little brothers, right?
Tsuzuru:	Yeah, and two older brothers, too. So I used to be in charge of cooking a lot.
Taichi:	What? You're not the oldest?! I'm shocked!
Tsuzuru:	I never told you?
Taichi:	How many years are between you and your older brothers?
Tsuzuru:	Five years between me and the oldest, and three years between me and the second oldest.
Taichi:	Wow... must be real nice to have a big bro. Are you guys close?
Tsuzuru:	They left home years ago, so I haven't seen them much since then. I don't even know where my oldest brother is.
Tsuzuru:	I see my other older brother a few times a year during holidays. He goes overseas a lot, so I haven't seen him lately, though.
Tsuzuru:	He plays on a soccer team and they have games overseas and stuff.
Taichi:	Whoa, that's so cool! I bet he's super popular with the girls!
Tsuzuru:	He says he has a lot of female fans.
Taichi:	Man, that's so awesome... I wish I had a brother like that!
Tsuzuru:	Are you the youngest?
Taichi:	Nope, got a younger brother and a younger sister.
Tsuzuru:	What?! You're the oldest?
Taichi:	Yep. I'm the oldest!
Tsuzuru:	Wow...
Taichi:	Wow? Why?
Tsuzuru:	You're the last person I'd expect to be the oldest. I can't think of one quality you have that sounds like the oldest child.
Taichi:	What?! That's not nice! What does that even mean? What's an oldest child like?
Tsuzuru:	Y'know, like Omi.
Taichi:	Ah, yeah. Omi's definitely the oldest! He takes care of all the chores and is in charge of everything!
Tsuzuru:	He's more like a mom than anything, though.
Taichi:	Miyoshi's an older child, too. He's surprisingly good at taking care of people, and can basically get along with anyone.
Taichi:	Oh, right, I remember he said he has a little sister once!
Taichi:	He keeps saying he'll introduce me to her, but he never does!
Tsuzuru:	Hm, maybe he doesn't trust you with her? Never pegged him to be an overprotective brother.
Taichi:	He said he'd ask his sister and show her a pic of me. But she hasn't responded yet.
Tsuzuru:	O-Oh, okay.
Taichi:	I wonder why?
Tsuzuru:	Y-Yeah, I wonder. ...I guess some things are better left unsaid.
Taichi:	Huh?
Tsuzuru:	Juza seems like the oldest child, too. He's able to deal with Banri, and everything.
Taichi:	Deal with? You mean fight, right?
Taichi:	Ah, right, Sakyo's the oldest, too! He said he has a little sister. I keep telling him to show her my pic, but...
Tsuzuru:	...Yeah, I know the rest.
Tsuzuru:	So Sakyo's the oldest too, huh? Guess there are a lot of oldest children in Autumn Troupe. 4 out of 5 of 'em.
Taichi:	Oh, hey! I guess you're right.
Taichi:	Mankai Company is full of dependable older brothers!!
Tsuzuru:	Yeah. I'd say they're more like a bunch of problem children...
Taichi:	I wish I could have a popular big bro...
Tsuzuru:	He has to be popular?
Taichi:	Well yeah, 'cuz then that would attract more girls to me, too!
Tsuzuru:	Have some more pride, man!
Taichi:	I'd take popularity over pride!
Tsuzuru:	You're really set on this, huh?
Taichi:	Give me a cool big bro! I want one!
Tsuzuru:	Having an older brother isn't that great, you know. Since they're both gone, I have to do all the chores.
Taichi:	Cookin' for all of your little bros...I'm moved, man! You're like a stay at home dad!
Tsuzuru:	Is that a compliment?
Taichi:	Guys who can cook are awesome!
Tsuzuru:	You think so?
Taichi:	Yeah, girls love guys who can cook!
Tsuzuru:	You really have a one-track mind!
Taichi:	Life is all about popularity! You gotta eat to be popular, sleep to be popular, work to be popular!
Tsuzuru:	You're so devoted to this mission. I'm honestly kinda impressed.
	---
Tsuzuru:	Hm, Izumi and Omi won't be home till tonight...
Tsuzuru:	What should I do for lunch?
Tsuzuru:	There's some leftover ingredients from last night, so maybe I'll make some fried rice...
Tsuzuru:	Huh?!
Tsuzuru:	What was that noise? I heard it coming from the kitchen...
	---
Tsuzuru:	What the heck?! The kitchen's a wreck!
Taichi:	Owww...
Tsuzuru:	What happened? Was there a burglar?!
Taichi:	A burglar?! Where?!
Tsuzuru:	The kitchen's a total mess!
Taichi:	Oh, no, no... I was trying to cook, and...
Tsuzuru:	This doesn't look like someone was trying to cook here!!
Taichi:	I kinda messed up a teeny bit.
Tsuzuru:	A teeny bit?! This is a murder scene... with food!
Taichi:	It was an impulse, all right?
Tsuzuru:	You're banned from the kitchen. For five years.
Taichi:	What?! Can't you give me a lighter sentence?! I beg you!!
Tsuzuru:	...Fine, whatever. What were you trying to make anyway?
Taichi:	Fried rice.
Tsuzuru:	Okay, let's start simple. What the heck were you doing with tuna, and why the heck is it this shape?
Taichi:	U looked at the wrong page in the cookbook!
Tsuzuru:	...Okay. Do exactly as I say.
Taichi:	Yes, sir!
	---
Taichi:	Owww!
Tsuzuru:	That's not where you cut!
Taichi:	Ouch!
Tsuzuru:	Don't touch that!
Taichi:	Why is it so hard?!
Tsuzuru:	You need to break it first!
Taichi:	Gyaaaah!
Tsuzuru:	Now what?!
	---
Taichi:	I'm done!
Tsuzuru:	Finally... Can't believe it took an hour to make fried rice...longest hour of my life...
Taichi:	Let's eat before it gets cold!
Taichi:	......
Tsuzuru:	...What? It should taste fine. I test-tasted it before.
Taichi:	Delish! It's so good, Tsuzuru!
Tsuzuru:	Great.
Taichi:	It's good enough to let someone else eat!
Tsuzuru:	What, you're gonna give it to someone?
Taichi:	Ehehe. Yep!
Taichi:	Yep! One of them, at least!
Tsuzuru:	Please. Don't tell me you're going to take it to a party or something. When did you become Mr. Popular?
Taichi:	No. I'm gonna make it for my brother and sister next time I go home.
Tsuzuru:	...Whoa. You just sounded like the oldest child right now.
Taichi:	That's because I am one!!