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The following transcript is the cross backstage story of Minagi Tsuzuru SSR 【Attack of the Minagis】and Nanao Taichi SSR 【Skater Boi】

Tsuzuru:  Not too many people here tonight, so this should be enough meat...
Tsuzuru: Actually, is it enough? ...Nah, it's not, is it.
Tsuzuru: They'll probably eat this much...
Taichi: Ah, I'm so thirsty!
Tsuzuru: Oh, welcome home, Taichi.
Taichi: Sup!
Taichi: You on cooking duty tonight, Tsuzuru?
Tsuzuru: Yep. Izumi is helping another troupe and Omi's at a club retreat.
Taichi: So? Whatcha makin'?
Tsuzuru: Pork with fried ginger. Extra on the pork.
Taichi: Whoa, that looks good! Gimme a taste!
Tsuzuru: Ah, hey, that's--!
Taichi: ...Tastes like meat!
Tsuzuru: Well, what else would it taste like? I haven't added any seasonings yet.
Taichi: Omi's cooking is good, but your cooking is like... manly! Just a whole buncha stuff in one place.
Tsuzuru: When you've got a big family, it's easier to make one-pot meals.
Taichi: Ah, right. You've got a lot of little brothers, right?
Tsuzuru: Yeah, and two older brothers, too. So I used to be in charge of cooking a lot.
Taichi: What? You're not the oldest?! I'm shocked!
Tsuzuru: I never told you?
Taichi: How many years are between you and your older brothers?
Tsuzuru: Five years between me and the oldest, and three years between me and the second oldest.
Taichi: Wow... must be real nice to have a big bro. Are you guys close?
Tsuzuru: They left home years ago, so I haven't seen them much since then. I don't even know where my oldest brother is.
Tsuzuru: I see my other older brother a few times a year during holidays. He goes overseas a lot, so I haven't seen him lately, though.
Tsuzuru: He plays on a soccer team and they have games overseas and stuff.
Taichi: Whoa, that's so cool! I bet he's super popular with the girls!
Tsuzuru: He says he has a lot of female fans.
Taichi: Man, that's so awesome... I wish I had a brother like that!
Tsuzuru: Are you the youngest?
Taichi: Nope, got a younger brother and a younger sister.
Tsuzuru: What?! You're the oldest?
Taichi: Yep. I'm the oldest!
Tsuzuru: Wow...
Taichi: Wow? Why?
Tsuzuru: You're the last person I'd expect to be the oldest. I can't think of one quality you have that sounds like the oldest child.
Taichi: What?! That's not nice! What does that even mean? What's an oldest child like?
Tsuzuru: Y'know, like Omi.
Taichi: Ah, yeah. Omi's definitely the oldest! He takes care of all the chores and is in charge of everything!
Tsuzuru: He's more like a mom than anything, though.
Taichi: Miyoshi's an older child, too. He's surprisingly good at taking care of people, and can basically get along with anyone.
Taichi: Oh, right, I remember he said he has a little sister once!
Taichi: He keeps saying he'll introduce me to her, but he never does!
Tsuzuru: Hm, maybe he doesn't trust you with her? Never pegged him to be an overprotective brother.
Taichi: He said he'd ask his sister and show her a pic of me. But she hasn't responded yet.
Tsuzuru: O-Oh, okay.
Taichi: I wonder why?
Tsuzuru: Y-Yeah, I wonder. ...I guess some things are better left unsaid.
Taichi: Huh?
Tsuzuru: Juza seems like the oldest child, too. He's able to deal with Banri, and everything.
Taichi: Deal with? You mean fight, right?
Taichi: Ah, right, Sakyo's the oldest, too! He said he has a little sister. I keep telling him to show her my pic, but...
Tsuzuru: ...Yeah, I know the rest.
Tsuzuru: So Sakyo's the oldest too, huh? Guess there are a lot of oldest children in Autumn Troupe. 4 out of 5 of 'em.
Taichi: Oh, hey! I guess you're right.
Taichi: Mankai Company is full of dependable older brothers!!
Tsuzuru: Yeah. I'd say they're more like a bunch of problem children...
Taichi: I wish I could have a popular big bro...
Tsuzuru: He has to be popular?
Taichi: Well yeah, 'cuz then that would attract more girls to me, too!
Tsuzuru: Have some more pride, man!
Taichi: I'd take popularity over pride!
Tsuzuru: You're really set on this, huh?
Taichi: Give me a cool big bro! I want one!
Tsuzuru: Having an older brother isn't that great, you know. Since they're both gone, I have to do all the chores.
Taichi: Cookin' for all of your little bros...I'm moved, man! You're like a stay at home dad!
Tsuzuru: Is that a compliment?
Taichi: Guys who can cook are awesome!
Tsuzuru: You think so?
Taichi: Yeah, girls love guys who can cook!
Tsuzuru: You really have a one-track mind!
Taichi: Life is all about popularity! You gotta eat to be popular, sleep to be popular, work to be popular!
Tsuzuru: You're so devoted to this mission. I'm honestly kinda impressed.
Tsuzuru: Hm, Izumi and Omi won't be home till tonight...
Tsuzuru: What should I do for lunch?
Tsuzuru: There's some leftover ingredients from last night, so maybe I'll make some fried rice...
Tsuzuru: Huh?!
Tsuzuru: What was that noise? I heard it coming from the kitchen...
Tsuzuru: What the heck?! The kitchen's a wreck!
Taichi: Owww...
Tsuzuru: What happened? Was there a burglar?!
Taichi: A burglar?! Where?!
Tsuzuru: The kitchen's a total mess!
Taichi: Oh, no, no... I was trying to cook, and...
Tsuzuru: This doesn't look like someone was trying to cook here!!
Taichi: I kinda messed up a teeny bit.
Tsuzuru: A teeny bit?! This is a murder scene... with food!
Taichi: It was an impulse, all right?
Tsuzuru: You're banned from the kitchen. For five years.
Taichi: What?! Can't you give me a lighter sentence?! I beg you!!
Tsuzuru: ...Fine, whatever. What were you trying to make anyway?
Taichi: Fried rice.
Tsuzuru: Okay, let's start simple. What the heck were you doing with tuna, and why the heck is it this shape?
Taichi: U looked at the wrong page in the cookbook!
Tsuzuru: ...Okay. Do exactly as I say.
Taichi: Yes, sir!
Taichi: Owww!
Tsuzuru: That's not where you cut!
Taichi: Ouch!
Tsuzuru: Don't touch that!
Taichi: Why is it so hard?!
Tsuzuru: You need to break it first!
Taichi: Gyaaaah!
Tsuzuru: Now what?!
Taichi: I'm done!
Tsuzuru: Finally... Can't believe it took an hour to make fried rice...longest hour of my life...
Taichi: Let's eat before it gets cold!
Taichi: ......
Tsuzuru: ...What? It should taste fine. I test-tasted it before.
Taichi: Delish! It's so good, Tsuzuru!
Tsuzuru: Great.
Taichi: It's good enough to let someone else eat!
Tsuzuru: What, you're gonna give it to someone?
Taichi: Ehehe. Yep!
Taichi: Yep! One of them, at least!
Tsuzuru: Please. Don't tell me you're going to take it to a party or something. When did you become Mr. Popular?
Taichi: No. I'm gonna make it for my brother and sister next time I go home.
Tsuzuru: ...Whoa. You just sounded like the oldest child right now.
Taichi: That's because I am one!!